The Boomslang South Africa Gap Year Research Trip
“Oh Shit there is a huge snake here!” yelled Hen as I was relaxing in the pool. This I had to see to I got out and ran over. Hen was stood staring at this very long thin Green Snake that had coiled itself up next to the entrance to reception. Probably about a metre long. The markings on it identified it as a male Boomslang (Africaan’s for Tree Snake).
Great, these fellas are one of the most venomous little bastards found in the region. Their Toxin is a heamotoxin, which means that after you are bitten, you will essentially bleed to death from the inside, from out of your ears and from the cracks of your skin. Possibly the hardest type of bite to treat as well as it doesn’t focus on just one area, it fucks your entire body.
Obviously I could not allow it to just stay there and for it to wander off on its own accord. Oh no, it had to be abused. I decided to invent a game – Snake bowls, using Amarulas (a hard small fruit about the size of a conker). The next five minutes was spent hurling Amarulas at the thing to really piss it off – so hopefully it would bugger off. But it didn’t, it just sat there staring at us, looking pissed off, probably working out which one of us he would bite first. I would see it in his eyes, he was looking a me. Working out where he would strike first. Ryan then went off to find a stick and came back with the worlds longest plank of wood (about 15ft) and proceed to shunt at the snake to get him to move. By this point we had attracted a crowd of guests who to my alarm all reacted with a worrying mixture or fear and respect for the snake when they heard it was a Boomslang.
The prodding had the desired effect of moving the snake, and move he did. This snake was quick. Imagine 10 people skulking up following this snake from pure curiosity then collectively shrieking as the thing swung round and started chasing them. This went of for a few minutes until the snake darted under Henrietta’s car (conveniently and identical colour to the thing) and disappeared into the engine. Oh shit, what now? I would be driving this car in the dark with in the hour and knowing my luck the thing would probably pop out of the cigarette lighter and bite me in the nads. It could not stay there. It took about 15 minutes to figure out where it had gone, it had coiled itself around the suspension spring on the front left strut. Unfortunately this was quite high up in the wheel arch; we were going to need a new stick. Several minutes of poking and hooking at this snake to uncoil it really pissed it off. It let out a couple of strikes and the guy trying to uncoil it (there was no way I was going to attempt that one!). At least half his body length shot out of the wheel arch at lightning speed but missed him.
We got him out eventually and he darted straight over towards me, probably sensing this was payback time. “Your Organs are mine now Bray” his evil serpent eyes were saying. I knew his intentions. This was it. This to be the moment of confrontation, with the crowd cheering, time to be a man…..I legged it kicking my feet in the air squealing like a girl.. I turned around to see him heading up a tree and with that he was gone from sight.
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