Ryans uncomfortable admission and one fucked up country.

Today was spent by the pool lapping up the ridiculous heat. A couple of regular guests (Tony and Tania Stokes) were visiting hippo pools with their daughter who was off from school. They had visited once before and I had had dinner with them. Tony is a Zimbabwean citizen originally, you can tell that he is none to pleased with the way his country has gone. He told me a story: Educated in the in the UK at Cranfield University, when he was in is early teens he flew back to Zimbabwe after 3 years of study. Upon returning a white immigration officer asked him why he had been away so long. “Little Rich boy eh? Mummy and Daddy paying for your education are they? Well if you think you are coming into this country you can think again.” His passport was stamped with illegal immigrant and he has not been allowed back since on his Zimbabwe Passport.

He also told me about how White farmers, falling foul of land claims, would be forced off their property and businesses by angry mobs that would take over and strip the places and effectively destroy them. No wonder the only country in the Africa this year to post a negative GDP is Zimbabwe. “Mugabe has lost his mind probably due to syphilis. (this is a man who has declared that the drought in his country is being deliberately caused by Tony Blair – then again this explains the Hosepipe ban; he may have a point!). His people are starving and the country is out of control. Despite the situation there is a top elite in the country becoming seriously rich whilst the rest of the country suffers. If Mugabe was gotten rid of tomorrow there are many others that would take his place.” On the Radio yesterday I heard that Zimbabwe is issuing another new note to help with money shortages (they are experiencing Hyper Inflation) – a 50K note. Over night people savings are worthless yet it is illegal to pay for anything in Hard currency. Truly a fucked up place.

Anyway I digress, I was chatting to Tony by the pool, the conversation moved to talk about doctors and operations when Ryan decided to tell us a story of a nasty hospital in South Africa that he had visited. The Story was supposed to be emphasising the squalid conditions, unfortunately he started it with:
“I went to this hospital once with a tape stuck in my ass when…”
“Pardon?”. Ryan’s’ face went bright red and he started to look sheepish.
The rest of his story I can’t remember as by this point I was face down in the pool gulping huge amounts of water whilst uncontrollably laughing. Eventually I figured out that he had been in a car accident and the force of the collision had thrown his ass into a tape which unfortunately got wedged somewhere very uncomfortable. Obviously I could not wait to put this on the internet.

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