Flying, Danish Girls and One Nasty International Incident Brewing In My Underpants.
Diary entries are a bit thin on the ground for the last week, this is mainly dude to the lack of things happening of note. Mainly I have been commuting to Tzaneen ( the self styled tropical paradise – quite why I have no Idea) every day in order to Fly. I am learning on a light Italian Plane called a Tecnam. It is a single Prop 100 HP Light Aircraft. My First lesson involved running through the principles of Flight and Lift and the second and from then on I was up in the air on the controls. I’m being taught by an instructor called Grant he is probably about my age and a fairly decent bloke. He pretty much leaves me to fly the thing and just gives me direction. Flying seems easy enough, although there is a shit load to think about all at once, which makes it more challenging. During the 3rd lesson after we had been flying for over an hour he suggested we just fly straight and level to check out the View – pretty impressive as the ground is pretty lush and green at the moment, with the mountains surrounding the airfield and the skies generally very hot and clear. “Ok” I said “but can we do it upside down?!”
“He Grinned and grabbed the controls sending the nose vertically downwards. We were plummeting towards the ground then he pulled back on the stick and my world flipped upside down, my stomach went through my ears and my grin stretched from Ear to ear as I became weightless!
After we levelled out of the loop he sped down towards a river which had a dam about a mile upstream, flying at about 10ft off the ground we traced the path of the river at about 100 miles per hour. Some unlucky fishermen were not too pleased with us as we buzzed passed them rocking there boat and scaring there fish, as we approached the dam he pulled back and we shot up 100ft clearing it and then skimmed over the tree line.
“Ok my turn!” I suggested, “well maybe I’ll practice a bit first.”. Grant chuckled and agreed, Probably best not to kill myself just yet, I’ll have plenty of opportunity to do that later in the trip.
The Private Pilot Licence will require me to do 40 hours of flying that will probably mean about 30 lessons at 2 hours each as not all the lesson is spent in the air, so at this rate it should take me about 5 weeks to complete.
Other than the flying I have been helping Ryan out when I can at Hippo pools, however not a huge amount goes on out here as we are essentially in the middle of the bush. You get a better idea of just quite how vast this country is from the air, there is literally thousands of miles in each direction of national parks and private 1000 hectare ranches filled with Animals, trees dirt tracks and not much else. When you consider the the South African population is pretty similar to that of the UK (Around 68 Million) there does not seem to be the same scope out here for meeting people. Having said that, when you do meet people they are incredibly friendly and will have no qualms in striking up a conversation with you.
Then there is the heat to consider, it is usually around 38C, although I’m told we are in for a heat wave a brain melting 50c. Now my brain struggles to function at the best of times, but in this heat it turns to Jelly, motivation and energy also suffers. I fucking love it.
South Africa Gap Year Research Trip
The heat is not all I love about this place:
This place is cheap too, in 3 weeks I have spent £300 including flying in a micro-light, Going on Safari 3 times and Quad biking. I’m seriously thinking I was born in the wrong country as I have a maid to do my washing and call me Bwana. The only thing that is lacking is the women as literally there is nothing here for miles and miles other than Bush (not the female kind). However my Host Ryan is not slacking in his duties. The other day I left to go flying, instructing him to order me a coach load of Scandinavians – as you do. On My return I was pleased to see 2 Danish girls sat in the garden having a drink. One of them was incredibly beautiful, and she seemed keen on me too as she has obviously been starved on any decent male company for 3 weeks. . (of course I say that but I have been starved of any female company for a similar amount of time so I was probably just sat there drooling and she was staring at me with her gorgeous blue eyes in disgust.) That and I had just been to the Gym so I was covered in sweat and attracting the flies too.- Trust me I looked good)
Now get this for a stroke of genius. One of Ryan’s Friends (a guy about our age) runs a field laboratory out here, it basically tests water and animals blood in the bush. This guy offers a gap year programme to Scandinavian women who pay him £1000 for a months stay in the bush where he teaches them about his work out here. Every month he has 10 new women flown out to camp with him to keep him company. He only accepts women on his course and makes £10K a month doing so. That my friend is not work, that is genius. So this Friday I’m going out to his camp to try and fuck as many Scandinavian chicks as I possibly can in one after noon. I have also suggested to Ryan that we bring them back to hippopools (where I’m staying) for a Scandinavian topless pool party – A move that obviously has to be executed before hen comes back and interrupts my plans.
Later in the same day 3 girls and a guy from Chile turned up – one of them is the Ambassadors Daughter to the country. I’m not sure if my testosterone levels are up too much at the moment, but this girl is cute. I think I’m going to have to attempt starting an international incident by trying it on with her.
